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(Request) Small Bertha Mod

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FeebTube

I understand why this may seem like a lot to ask of this community; I am, after all, a relatively new member. I would have come into this fine group of individuals much sooner, had I not been so disconnected from society for such a great deal of time.

 

Up until approximately a month ago (the time has been precious to me, but I have lost track), I had spent every waking moment in my personal screening room at my ranch. I'm several miles out from I-15, and nowhere near anywhere populated, like Vegas, so the public failed to question my location, or the status of my building. I did not go in unprepared, of course, as I had this all planned out well ahead of time; I arranged for the Desert Inn and my SUITE there to be cared for by my aides, along with the rest of my properties. I also, of course, arranged for a number of amenities in my screening room; a full bathroom, kitchen, and bedroom adjacent to the room, along with enough MREs for a great many lifetimes. I knew from the start I was in for the long haul.

 

I went in alone. The dread sank in from the minute I kissed Jean goodbye and bolted the door. I knew there was no hope for me until the deed was done. I would, after so many years, 100% LEGO Island 2. The game must be complete; only then could I say the same of myself. Of course, everything went nominally, at the beginning. I looked up on my work, pleased in my progress as I swept up the Constructopedia pages one by one on the silver screen before me. I knew that this would be short-lived; the worst was yet to come.

 

I careened into the Oasis. I was given a quick verbal pat on the back from the Infomaniac; I had to hold back tears, as I knew this might be the last time I ever hear his dulcet tones. In my intoxicating grief, I skipped over the Old Fisherman entirely; not that I didn't know what lay ahead for me. I fought off the tears and went to work. It was very emotional for me, so understand that my memory from this point on was hazy at best, but you all know precisely what I went through, I'm sure.

 

The first few days were torture; torture became a chore, and the chore became life as I knew it. As the months passed, I became naught but a shell of my being. Day after day after day; cast, reel, cast, reel, cast, reel. Down and down I went into a new and ghastly state of existence; for a time I forgot all but my life in the screening room. The broken prisoner of that godforsaken warden, that bane of man, the Old Fisherman; a fisher of lost dreams, floating in the sea of despair.

 

I heard rustling; it could have been that the sound system in my screening room had deteriorated over this time. The rustling became impacts the next day, and then a rhythmic, inhuman pounding. I thought it another bout of hallucination, until the bolt holding the vault seal in place flew loose and struck the projector, destroying my chances at achieving my lifelong pursuit. I cried out; I do not remember how to describe it, as the entire moment was a blur; all I recall is Jean and the workmen rushing in and hauling me away.

 

It must have been decades I had spent in that room, based on changes to my body; thankfully I have been able to return to my prior responsibilities, and my companies hold more value than ever. One enemy has persisted, tormenting me from then unto eternity; Big Bertha. I still return to my save time and again, despite Jean's truly better judgment.

 

I will not go into detail, but I have had similar issues with the original Metal Gear; both MSX and NES versions; involving the final boss. This has led me to conclude that the issue does not lie in the design of the games, but in the sheer size of my adversaries. I come to you, and beg of you: rob Bertha of her infernal power. She must become miniscule, that I may end her, and end this blight on my life.

 

For Jean.

Edited by FeebTube
I have indicated that my lodging atop the Desert Inn is not a "room" but a suite; I am a man of standards.

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Cyrem

Don't worry Jean!

We'll get Feeb a 100% save game!

 

Spoiler

May I recommend a blog?

 

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FeebTube
7 hours ago, Cyrem said:

Don't worry Jean!

We'll get Feeb a 100% save game!

 

  Hide contents

May I recommend a blog?

 

I don't believe you understand. My save holds no importance, not anymore, and its percentage is naught but a number. Bertha must be diminished, shrunken, defeated, that I might best that leviathan yet.

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Quisoves Potoo
8 hours ago, FeebTube said:

I don't believe you understand. My save holds no importance, not anymore, and its percentage is naught but a number. Bertha must be diminished, shrunken, defeated, that I might best that leviathan yet.

She tasks you!

 

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aidenpons

I have no clue what I just read but I have a 100% LI2 save if you want it? and also I'm surprised this didn't warp out of existence en route to the new forum

 

there's probably a joke that I'm missing, the fishing minigame wasn't very difficult nor arduous, just a strange juxtaposition with the otherwise tense and silly racing minigame

 

 

 

yes, there's very definitely a joke I'm missing

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