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Conrad's Journal


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Despite my usual aversion to fanfiction in general, I decided to try my hand in it anyway, perhaps earn the award while I'm at it.

I decided to frame it as sort of a log book or journal.

Have a read. Tell me what you think.

Entry 1

Hello you dumb book. It is currently sometime in April according to the ship's computers. At least, that's what it was last time I was up there, which was god knows how long ago. There's not much way to tell time down here in these caverns. Not that it makes any difference seeing how long we've been away from earth.

Toby wants me to write in you. Apparently I'm supposed to talk to you as though you're another person, which if you ask me is just plain stupid. But when it comes to Toby I'm just a big pushover. I could never deny that kid a request, ridiculous as it may be.

So what do I even write in you?

I guess I have to introduce myself first.

To a book.

I feel like a fool.

Well my name's Conrad Price. I'm a member of the Explorer's 28th division. My official job title is "Ground Vehicles and Heavy Machinery Operations," which basically means I'm the division's designated driver. It's a position every bit as fun as it sounds, unfortunately, since some all-enlightened officer thought it was a good idea to stick me in with a bunch of geologists, not the one of which knows HOW TO DRIVE. Seriously, man, how do I even get to the 'Heavy Machinery' part of the job when I'm too busy ferrying around a bunch of lazy scientists that apparently lack the strength required to WALK from one end of the cavern to the other? And now I'm stuck with you dumb book, using up more of my time. Like anyone cares. Who's gonna read this stuff anyway?

Toby said it'd be good for me. Handed me this dirty old notebook, told me to write, write everything. Write what? He's got to know by now I'm not exactly the literary type. I'm not an educated man. Toby seems to think differently, somehow got it in that big sciency head of his that I've got some kind of secret or something. Says I'm smarter then I let on. Right. If I were really as brilliant as he thinks I am don'cha think I'd be one of those scientists and not their personal chauffeur?

Toby's a good kid, but he can be thick at times. I've taken quite a liking to him despite all that. He seems to be the only guy in this whole friggen unit who gives a crap about me. Stupid scientists.

Yeah you know what? I take back what I said. I wouldn't be a scientist for all the money in the world, not after I've met these guys. Bunch of self-centered jerkwads is what they are, acting like they're better than me just because they know a lot of big words. It makes me sick.

No offense, book, but I don't have time to keep going on like this. It's almost dinner time and ever since our barracks were destroyed in the last quake we've been having to get our meals from the 24th's base, in a whole 'nother cavern entirely, and guess who has to make four trips to and back ferrying the lazy scientists to to get their food? That's right, you can't guess. You're a book.

You're a book and I hate you for wasting my time and right now I will take any excuse to not have to deal with you anymore.

I'm leaving now and I hope to never talk to you again.

~~~~~~~~Conrad

Entry 2

Hello again stupid book. Yeah it's been a while, not long enough if you ask me. Toby finally noticed I hadn't been using you. He was really hurt and I feel terrible and it's all your fault. Somehow.

So now I've gotta make a show of writing so's he don't feel bad. But you know there's another reason I ain't been writing other than the sheer stupidity of the idea, and that's that I got not a single thing to write about. Driving back and forth all day ain't all that exiting.

I've gotta fill up space, though, so why don't I pick up where I left off last time and tell you about the others in my unit.

There are nine of us total, which for some reason or another command decided was the ideal number of men per unit. Personally I could use a few less passengers but since when does anyone care what I think?

I've already mentioned Toby- Toby Reynolds, my one and only friend in this unit. He's the youngest of the crew, and the least experienced. Poor boy was barely out of college when he was enlisted into the Explorer's crew and sent out in space to god knows where.

There's Vincent Reid, he's our CO. How or why is beyond me. By any judgement he's the most useless guy around. Doesn't do a single thing but sit back and bark orders at us. No one follows them. For the best since the guy has no clue what he's doing.

Marcus O'Nell is our blast man. That is to say, he handles the dynamite. Sounds like my kind of guy, but unfortunately he's a scientist as well. The guy's obsessive over where, when, and how to use his boomboxes. Insists on doing a bunch of math before he'll blast any wall. Always going on about damaging his precious samples. He always holds us up with this, it'll take us hours to destroy a single wall 'cause of him.

Along with Marcus you have his henchman Frank. Francis Newman, the math wiz. He's the reason Marcus's 'calculations' take hours and not weeks, and for that I hate him a little less than everyone else. Still an unpleasant fellow, not very outgoing, makes a huge fuss if you interrupt his thinking. And he is always thinking. Everywhere he goes everyone goes silent. He's the only one who can get Vince to shut his face, and that's an impressive feat.

Next we have Ignatius Bristol. Can be found reading sleazy magazines in his off time. Which is far too often. How has he gone this long without having his magazines confiscated? I've considered stealing them and destroying them so that maybe he might get something done but whenever he's not reading them he hides them, and hides them well. The man's an absolute pervert. I honestly think he only enlisted because he was convinced we'd find exotic women on other planets. Idiot. He makes it a habit of harassing Stacy at every chance. The rest of the team have been pushing for his transfer to another unit, but unfortunately command won't move him until they find a 'suitable replacement.' Seriously? We could get by with one less geologist.

Stacy Hill is the only woman in our unit, and the hardest worker as well. She's cold, too. Won't let anyone close to her. Okay, with Ignatius it's justified, but the rest of us have been nothing but kind to her. Most out of fear- she's strong, unbelievably so, and easily offended. She's sent Ignatius to the infirmary enough times that all the doctors know him by name. They're trying to help us with a transfer too. They don't have enough supplies to keep fixing him up.

There's Billy O'Nell, Marcus's younger brother. Yeah, they got put in the same unit. No, I'm pretty sure it's not legal. Little twerp is hardly tolerable, complaining about everything and relying on his big brother to do everything for him. God he's like a child, but he's a full-grown adult just like the rest of us. I suspect he only got a position on this ship due to his brother's meddling.

Herbert McCain, or Sorbet as we call him, is one of the more likable guys. I don't know why we call him Sorbet. It has to do with some incident involving an Ice Monster, a sandwich and a couple hammers, but no one seems to remember the details. All the better, I'm not sure I want to know.

So there's my unit. Maybe now you see why I don't like them much? Toby is nice to me, and Sorbet's tolerable, but the rest drive me mad. It's mostly how they treat me, like I'm below them. I get no respect in this unit and I'm one of it's hardest workers. The worst part is that they all seem to think there's nothing wrong with this.

I'm all keyed up now, I need to relax. Not like I'll get much chance, another unit uncovered a new cavern near here. I haven't passed the news on to the others yet, but soon enough they'll find out through other means and then it's up to me to drive a couple of them down there to check it out. So I have to stop now, I need to rest. If Toby's still mad at me tomorrow at least the new cavern gives me something to write about.

~~~~~~~~Conrad

Entry 3

Dear stupid book,

The cavern yesterday was boring, but at least it was a break from the usual routine. It was Sorbet and Frank I had to take down. Should have been Ignatius's turn but he's stuck in the infirmary again. Serves him right. We had to keep silent the entire drive, including turning the radio off, which means I missed the report on several landslides that occurred along the planned route. Even after we ran into the first couple Frank still wouldn't let me turn the radio on. What should have been a 20-minute trip, tops, ended up taking over an hour. The area supervisor was not happy that we were late, and naturally the blame fell on me. Sorbet at least made an attempt to stick up for me but they would hear nothing of it.

The cavern itself was nothing special. It was small, plain. There was a fair amount of energy crystals there, which had to be hauled to our base since it was the closest, but my truck doesn't have room for two passengers plus a full cargo hold. I arranged for Antony Harper, a friend of mine from the 24th who is also a driver, to help me haul the crystals back to base. Frank caused quite a stir over which truck he would ride in. He insisted that my driving was 'atrocious,' and wanted to go with Tony but Tony refused to turn his radio off.

Our solution was to leave him there. He was not happy about it, but for once we didn't have to listen to him. I talked with Sorbet quite a bit on the ride back, about nothing in particular. Neither of us had much to say, but we felt like we needed to take advantage of Frank's absence.

After we unloaded our haul of crystals it was almost dinner time, so since he was heading back to the 24th anyway I had Tony take a couple passengers to the barracks for me. I only had to make three trips today. Yay.

I'm sure command won't be happy when they find out about Frank, but see if I care. He still hasn't come back, so either he could not or would not find a ride. I didn't see him at the 24th for dinner, and since there are no other bases around he must still be there. Marcus is lost without him, but honestly the rest of us are glad to not have to deal with him for once.

I try not to be mean, so tomorrow I'll drive down and pick him up if he's still there.

For now, though, it's bed time. Good night, stupid book.

~~~~~~~~Conrad

Entry 4

Dear stupid book,

I was right about command. They were not happy. Want to know what happened to Frank? He radioed in to the crew abord the Explorer and got himself TELEPORTED OUT. He's been ranting to command all night, and it seems that they've finally noticed how disfunctonal our unit is. They've decided immediate action must be taken, so they're dissolving our unit, splitting us up and putting us all in different teams. I am so happy about this. 'Course I'll miss Toby, but I'm sure the people in my new unit will be preferable to my old one overall. It's gonna take some time to get the units sorted out, as command is dead-set on having no more than nine members each. Tony suggested I join the 24th with him, but I don't think that's a good idea. The guys at the 24th are friends with the less enjoyable members of my old team, and aren't likely to have a good opinion of me. No, it seems I'm being put in the 17th, in a different cave system altogether.

I can't wait to get going. It's going to take a day or two to get all the paperwork sorted out and in the meantime we're all staying abord the Explorer. I haven't seen my old room on the ship since our accident. How long has it been now? I couldn't say, not until I get up on the ship and check the date. I hope we get the thing running soon. I want off this planet. I want home. But what am I saying? The Explorer is my home, it has been for, how many years now? 20? 30? It's so hard to keep track of time out here in space, with no sunrise or set. All I can tell is our Captain's getting on in years. I was here when he first took command after our old captain retired, and now look at him, he's about ready to retire himself.

I'm going to be teleported up any time now, and I need to be ready when it happens, so I'll stop here.

~~~~~~~~Conrad

Entry 5

Dear Stupid book,

My stay abord the Explorer was as uneventful as my time down on the planet. The ship is very empty with everyone down on the surface mining. Only the higher-up commanders, sick or injured, and guys on temporary leave are up here. It's like a ghost ship. Considering how friggen huse the whole thing is it was more than a little uncomfortable having the entire thing empty.

I paid Ignatius a vistit in the infirmary, since no one else wanted to do it, and told him what had happened. He says he hopes his new unit has more women in it. I can't believe this guy. One-track mind. In reality command's working it out to get him put into a unit with no women in it at all, to keep him out of trouble. I didn't tell him that. Easier to let him just dwell in his own fantasies for now.

Needless to say I didn't stay there long.

My room is exactly how I had left it. It kind of sad seeing it again, considering how long I've been down on this stupid hunk of rock. Which, according to the ship's computers, has been about two months. It's June now.

The ship is running on reserve power right now, so only the essentials are up and running. The air filters, heater, transporter and a few computers running essential programs. Don't ask what they're for, I have no idea. But apparently they couldn't spare enough power to run an oven or even a microwave or a toaster for a few minutes, so I had to eat my dinner cold.

Tomorrow I get put in my new unit. I can't wait.

~~~~~~~~Conrad

Entry 6

Dear stupid book,

or, as of this moment, the only person for miles I can hold a conversation with. As I write this I'm huddled in a corner somewhere, I don't even know where. It's not the 17th base, that's for certain. Wouldn't you know the transporter beamed me into the wrong cavern? Not surprising. I can't even remember the last time something's been beamed into the right cavern. The operators know this as well, and they've started handing out emergency survival kits to everyone they beam down. It was with that kit that I set up camp in this- this little hole in the wall. It's actually a nice place, kinda scenic really, but there's what looks like a slog hole nearby, which isn't good. The slugs are pretty harmless, they only want the crystals, but they're still unpleasant. I hope I don't encounter one.

I didn't see much else of note around here. The rocks form some nice, er, formations. I think I hear a stream down one of these tunnels but for my own good I'm not checking it out yet. Command's got a lock on my location and a rescue party is coming eventually. If I'm not here when they arrive they might assume I'm lost or dead or something and it would just cause more trouble than it's worth. Plus I don't know what else lies down that tunnel. I've made a note of it and once i get settled in with my new team I'll take someone down there to check it out.

I wish I had my truck right now. She was teleported up with me when the 28th base was evacuated, but I don't know what has happened since. I feel incomplete without my truck, exposed, vulnerable. I hope that rescue team gets here soon.

~~~~~~~~Conrad

Entry 7

Hey book,

THE SLUGS ATE MY FOOD.

LET ME REPEAT THAT: THE SLUGS. ATE. MY FOOD.

The rations that came with my emergency survival pack? yeah, those. THE SLUGS ATE THEM. And all I can think right now is that I am just the biggest fool on the planet for choosing to bunk here.

The rescue team still hasn't shown up. They contacted me today, said that although they know my exact coordinates there is no clear passage from there to here, so they have to drill their way in. They're drilling at this moment, but the walls are thick, and hard. Wouldn't be a problem, normally, but without food it's a little more urgent. I'm not weak though, I can make it on my own no problem. I'm just irate is all. I'm not so much mad about losing the food as I am that I was dumb enough to let it happen. Gragh. I just woke up today and it was all gone! If it is day. I just fell asleep when I was tired, woke up when I'd gotten enough sleep. It's hard enough to tell time normally, but when I'm stranded out here with no sort of reference it becomes even harder.

I'm going to go wander around a bit. I'm leaving this notebook at camp so that if I'm not back when someone arrives they know where I am. I will be back in a bit, so just wait here for me.

~~~~~~~~Conrad

Entry 8

Dear Book,

Yeah, I finally made it to the 17th's base. Took long enough but I'm there. My little promenade around the area turned up nothing, so I headed back to camp and waited. It wasn't long before I heard the blast- yeah, they blasted their way in. With TNT. I like this unit already.

To be fair, there was a reason. They had an excess of TNT at the base, and it takes a while to get clearance on the larger vehicles. Quicker to just use dynamite. Though I was lucky the wall they blasted was not near my camp. Smoke and rubble everywhere... it was a mess.

They guy who found me introduced himself as Jack, but he didn't mention a last name and I didn't ask. I had more important things on my mind. I had to pack up and get back to base.

When he showed me to the hole they blasted I met Sam, the 17th's blast man. I could tell just at a glance he was far more reckless than Marcus. He had brought far more boomboxes than was necessary and they were stacked up precariously in this uneven, barely stable pyramid. I didn't stop to get to know him, we just kept walking and he followed. The three of us made the rest of the journey back to the 17th in silence. I could tell that Sam wanted to say something but Jack realized I was not up for talking and kept him quiet.

We made it back to the 17th, and Jack showed me to my bunk. I'm too tired to do anything today, but tomorrow Jacks gonna show me around the base and introduce me to the rest of the unit. I'm still in bed right now, barely awake. I had to take the time out to write this down, but now that that's done I have no energy left, and I'm gonna conk out now.

~~~~~~~~Conrfgdgb3q4fpr

Entry 9

Dear book,

Holy smokes was today a whirlwind of information. Jack woke me up at the crack of dawn (not that you can tell down in these caverns, but that's what they tell me it was. No reason to doubt them, I mean, it's not like I could say otherwise.) to give me a tour of the 17th's base. It is very different than my old base, which was mostly a research outpost- this base is something more akin to a depot. We are positioned near, though not inside, one of the more fruitful caverns. Two of them, in fact. And a couple tunnels that lead to unexplored areas, and one up to the primary HQ near the surface. We are positioned right in the center of all of that. What i'm getting at is, this place is just a huge crossroads, raiders always have to pass through here to get where they are going. this is the central command post for this area, sending units to do the actual mining at smaller outposts throughout this cavern. It's a very hectic, noisy place, which is a great change from what I'm used to.

The base is big, too. It serves as storage and repair for all of the equipment used around here. Several garages line the walls, though most of the vehicles are stored outside them since they are all filled with Angelo's 'projects.' We have a storehouse for explosives, a couple repair bays, a row of barracks. The system out here isn't structured into strict teams the way it was in the old cavern, rather, we have a large group of twenty-something raiders stationed here, who are sent into the surrounding caverns as needed and return once their assignment is finished. The outposts each can support a small group for as long as they need to finish, and only the raiders needed are sent to each at a time. The rest of us stay back, on standby, doing small jobs around the base until we are needed. It seems a very efficient system.

Naturally, given the size of the place, I've yet to meant everyone. Or rather, I've been introduced to everyone, but didn't get to know most of them well enough to remember them. The two that came to collect me were Jack Holt and Sam Bates,as I learned soon enough. My first impression of Sam seemed to be spot-on. Reckless, irresponsible, careless, and above all fun to be around. It's a little worrying that they let him handle such sensitive explosives, but they assure me that he hasn't caused any serious damage. recently.

Jack was, surprisingly, the resident CO. I'm not used to seeing COs doing field work, yet he came for me. He is much more serious than Sam is, and everyone seems to respect him. It's not surprising why, I mean he personally took it upon himself to escort me back.

The only other person of note so far has been Angelo, Angelo Carson. He's the base's mechanic, the one who repairs all the vehicles and other machinery that comes intot he base broken. He's akin to building things in his spare time, using parts he salvaged from vehicles beyond repair. He showed me his pride and joy, a huge, spider-like vehicle with 'all-terrain legs' and pincers to carry boulders around, and drills poking out in all directions. He calls it his 'cavern crawler.' It's not functional at this point, and from the look of things never will be. But that doesn't stop him and, from what I've heard, he puts more effort into his personal doo-dads than his actual job.

Well Jack's got me working with Angelo for the time being until i get settled. I know my fair share of mechanical maintenance from working with cars my whole life, but some of the more complicated machinery may give me trouble. I'm sure Angelo can teach me enough to be productive. Tomorrow we go to work fixing the granite grinder that just came in, it was completely trashed in a cave-in so it should take us some time to get it running again, enough time to sort out all my transfer paperwork and set me to a more permanent position.

~~~~~~~~Conrad

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Pranciblad

I don't have much time to give a full review now, but here's some quick thoughts:

I call my chapters "logs", but really only as a framing device. Meanwhile, you seemed to have put thought into making this feel like someone's journal rather than them just narrating. I'm not saying that my writing sucks just to make you feel better, I really appreciated what you did here. I also admit I like the atmosphere you've given, dark as it is.

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I don't have much time to give a full review now, but here's some quick thoughts:

I call my chapters "logs", but really only as a framing device. Meanwhile, you seemed to have put thought into making this feel like someone's journal rather than them just narrating. I'm not saying that my writing sucks just to make you feel better, I really appreciated what you did here. I also admit I like the atmosphere you've given, dark as it is.

It is a tad bit dark, isn't it? I tried not to make it that way. There was even some mild swearing at first which i cut out to try and lighten it up a bit.

You should keep in mind though, that this is all told from Conrad's perspective, and you can probably tell he doesn't like his job very much.

Yeah, the whole log thing- not sure how or why I decided to do it like that. It just seemed the best way to go, but it does present some problems. Can't write conventional dialogue, for one.

I really should read that Invasion fic now that you mention it.

Anyway, I kind of let this journal write itself (and by that I mean I basically am making it up as I go along) and I honestly didn't expect the 28th to get broken up like this. It was just an idea I had halfway through that was to good not to use,and I went with it. I spent all that time coming up with this cast of characters just to throw them out and have to start anew- While I plan for them to pop back in periodically somehow if the story allots it, I literally can not give any of them the exposure I planned to.

So here's my thoughts, I think I might start another journal or two from one of the geologists' point of view. Or, if you want, you could write one. Maybe make it a chapter in your invasion fic, I'd be okay with that. But I've got 9 named characters, plus one unnamed one, which are just sitting here not being able to be used, and that's just a shame I think. So any preferences on who's journal it should be? Toby's an obvious choice, but I was thinking a journal for Vince would be interesting and completely in-character. Maybe one for Ignatius, but I feel unclean just thinking of writing something like that. *shiver*

Also, BUMP.

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May I have your permission to write a version of this except 1) on a different topic and 2) the view of a different character?

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May I have your permission to write a version of this except 1) on a different topic and 2) the view of a different character?

Ben, a long time ago a user who shall remain nameless attempted to copy the work of another nameless member who was well-respected within the community.

It didn't end well.

The short of it is that the well-respected member became infuriated, and it became one of the reasons he used to leave.

I tell you this because I want you to listen carefully and respect this;

This is Fushigisaur's Intellectual Property (IP). If he says that you're not allowed to use it, you're not allowed to use it.

Furthermore, I IMPLORE you not to go through with this. Creativity keeps the world spinning. Copying a FF which is already essentially a copy of a bigger work (which is probably based off other works if you wanted to go even deeper) only creates a stale piece of bread that nobody will have interest in. I want you to do your own work which you can be proud of, not take something that somebody else has done and slip up the opportunity to prove you have potential.

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I don't want to copy it all... I want to write something at the time and roughly the place of this fiction journal. I was asking Fushigisaur for permission to do so.

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Entries 6 and 7 have been added. I have now surpassed 3000 words and can qualify for the fiction writer award.

@Ben,

I understand what you want, but I must decline.

While I am not opposed to the idea of having a journal written for one of my characters by another member, I must honestly say that based on your previous work I am not comfortable entrusting them to you at this time.

Perhaps one day, after you've gotten your own fic cleaned up to where I'm convinced you could do it well, I might. But as it stands right now the answer is a blunt no.

That said, if any other member has an ongoing RR fic and would like to use one of my characters in it, I might consider it, depending on if I like your writing or not.

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May I have your permission to write a version of this except 1) on a different topic and 2) the view of a different character?

Ben, a long time ago a user who shall remain nameless attempted to copy the work of another nameless member who was well-respected within the community.

It didn't end well.

The short of it is that the well-respected member became infuriated, and it became one of the reasons he used to leave.

Wait, we're talking about Matter Shift, right?

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Wait, we're talking about Matter Shift, right?

Maybe...just maybe...what other FFs caused that kind of reaction?
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  • 4 months later...

Very good, I like the story and the way you completely change the typical perspective of Rock Raiders. I also enjoyed the few references to the game here and there (at least I think they were), e.g.:

 

There's Vincent Reid, he's our CO. How or why is beyond me. By any judgement he's the most useless guy around. Doesn't do a single thing but sit back and bark orders at us. No one follows them. For the best since the guy has no clue what he's doing.

Was this referencing the stupid AI of Rock Raiders? :P

 

Anyway, it's very good. I hope you continue it, I'd like to see what the new 17th division are like, and what that new cavern has to offer.

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Very good, I like the story and the way you completely change the typical perspective of Rock Raiders. I also enjoyed the few references to the game here and there (at least I think they were), e.g.:

There's Vincent Reid, he's our CO. How or why is beyond me. By any judgement he's the most useless guy around. Doesn't do a single thing but sit back and bark orders at us. No one follows them. For the best since the guy has no clue what he's doing.

Was this referencing the stupid AI of Rock Raiders? :P

A little, I think. It's been a while since I wrote this. I think that I wanted to show these characters as less stupid and more dysfunctional, though, if that makes sense. Every one of these characters is bad at what they do for their own reason. ('cept for maybe Toby or Sorbet)

Since you mention it, you may or may not have noticed this particular line:

There are nine of us total, which for some reason or another command decided was the ideal number of men per unit.

was also referencing game mechanics, specifically how you can only teleport in 9 units per support station.

Also,

They had an excess of TNT at the base, and it takes a while to get clearance on the larger vehicles.

Sometimes when I try to teleport something down it takes a while before it actually happens. It's probably the game takes a bit to process the request if there's a lot going on, I don't know for certain, but this is my explanation.

Anyway I'm glad you liked it, and I really should get to continuing this. It's a little hard since I really made myself start over from scratch but I'll deal.

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The reason vehicles get "delayed" is because you can order a vehicle to be produced as long as you meet the prerequisites, but it will not actually teleport down until you have enough available crystals. it's obviously most apparent with large vehicles, as they take a lot of them, but it affects all vehicles.

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Entry 9 finished and posted.

I'm starting to slip up on my writing, it's getting less informal with each entry. I need to stop that.

Also,

The reason vehicles get "delayed" is because you can order a vehicle to be produced as long as you meet the prerequisites, but it will not actually teleport down until you have enough available crystals. it's obviously most apparent with large vehicles, as they take a lot of them, but it affects all vehicles.

That's probably the reason it happens most of the time, but it still happens sometimes when I do have enough crystals. I'll click the button, the crystals will be deducted from my inventory, and then nothing will happen until several minutes later. I've grown used to it though.
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