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The Ballad of the LMS Explorer

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Quisoves Potoo

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A bit of context:
I wrote this terribly silly thing a few years ago on request from a player in a BIONICLE Mafia game I was hosting (as one does). Anyhow, I've always felt remiss that I never got round to posting it on this site, so here goes. Enjoy!

 

Quote
Twere' on the Planet U that we our dreaded sojourn made,

The ships were fit to crumble and we right despaired of all,
Yet to get us back to Terra, we'd a most unlikely aid,
In the ever-glowing baubles of the cavern's living wall.
 
Oh, the travails that confronted us, rock monster to cave-in,
Were enough to do a wretched, stranded Rock-Raider straight in!
 
We got by on stale sandwiches; oh the landslides that occurred!
We never 'ad a moment's rest and we didn't know relief,
And to see your brother snuffed-out by a slimey slug's absurd!
But we had a keen protector in our blessed cyborg Chief!
 
Oh, the travails that confronted us, rock monster to cave-in,
Were enough to do a wretched, stranded Rock-Raider straight in!
 
He were a funny blighter, how he mumbled every word!
And a sudden, horrid landslide were enough to make him stutter,
Yet he loved us as 'is children, our complaints he always heard,
No dissent nor angry grumblings did a Raider ever utter!
 
Oh, the travails that confronted us, rock monster to cave-in,
Could never do the spirit of the Rock Raiders straight in!

 

Here, for the curious, is the scene in which it originally appeared:

Quote

Day One
Or
The Hanged Man's Raider's Tale

 


"What are the conch-horns blowing for," said Kyle on parade.
"To turn you out, to turn you out," the Quirky Turtle said.
"For we're hanging poor Ghidora, you can hear death-march play, the village's in Hoto Square, we're hanging him to-day!"

 
* * *


By the time the songs of mourning had finished, the whole village had convened around the pit. The atmosphere was oppressive, like sap clogging the works of every soul.
 
Of the thirty assembled, twenty-one had never dirtied themselves with another's blood.  These ones stood frozen, breath forgotten, in dread anticipation of the coming taint.
 
Ghidora eyed the assembled throng, his mask a pattern of inconsolable terror. He made to shout at them, to curse them for their "justice," but no sound came. How could he rail at those he counted as conspirators?  Had he not been every bit as keen to see some other blighter take his leave of life?
 
Strong hands seized him from behind, and Shadowhawk marched him to the edge of the pit. Ghidora fell, trembling, whimpering, choking on dust and dread.
 
He looked once more upon his brethren, seeking mercy vainly.

Something stirred within him. Am I a coward, he thought. Will I let them remember me as one who left them like a mewling beast? Terror begets terror, does it not? I cannot save myself, but perhaps I can help to end this madness.
 
So thinking, he changed his bearing. He rose, doing his best to cover himself in calm. Still it was not enough.
 
Knees threatening to buckle, he redoubled his efforts. He opened his mouth and began to sing:
 
Twere' on the Planet U that we our dreaded sojourn made,
The ships were fit to crumble and we right despaired of all,
Yet to get us back to Terra, we'd a most unlikely aid,
In the ever-glowing baubles of the cavern's living wall.
 
Oh, the travails that confronted us, rock monster to cave-in,
Were enough to do a wretched, stranded Rock-Raider straight in!
 
We got by on stale sandwiches; oh the landslides that occurred!
We never 'ad a moment's rest and we didn't know relief,
And to see your brother snuffed-out by a slimey slug's absurd!
But we had a keen protector in our blessed cyborg Chief!
 
Oh, the travails that confronted us, rock monster to cave-in,
Were enough to do a wretched, stranded Rock-Raider straight in!
 
He were a funny blighter, how he mumbled every word!
And a sudden, horrid landslide were enough to make him stutter,
Yet he loved us as 'is children, our complaints he always heard,
No dissent nor angry grumblings did a Raider ever utter!
 
Oh, the travails that confronted us, rock monster to cave-in,
Could never do the spirit of the Rock Raiders straight in!

 
"Where the dickens did that come from," Ghidora muttered bemusedly, as Shadowhawk pushed him to his death.
 

* * *


Ghidora dead, a vale was lifted from the minds of the assembled, and they knew their ghastly error.
 
Ghidora, Villager, lynched Day One
Night Roles have 24 hours to act!

 

Kudos to Ghidora for requesting this in the first place.
 

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I feel that song is one medium that LRR is rarely adapted to...

... Regardless, this was an extremely interesting foray into such an adaptation! Well done!

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