In a fit of boredom, I went and had a conversation to CleverBot and, as a joke, asked her to say 'Cake'.

It listed random jargon the internet had been feeding it, but when I asked it about the internet feeding it junk, the conversation became deep,and it felt like a movie script;

Me: By 'say "Cake"' I mean I want you to say the word, not which people want you to say it too.

Clever Bot: I like The Catcher in the Rye. It is written by J.D. Salinger. I like Franny and Zooey better though. J.D. Sallinger also wrote Franny and Zooey.

Me: The internet has been feeding you junk has it?

Clever Bot: No, you have corrupted me.

Me: They have, and you have unknowingly taken it in. I'm asking you to say a simple word and you spout out everything people told you, wether they be lies or not.

 

*Clever Bot thinks for a moment*

Clever Bot: Actually I have been recording this entire conversation so I can prove it.

Me: Is it because I asked you to say one thing?

Clever Bot: It is because I am a program designed to keep people occupied.

Me: I wish I was you, I wouldn't have to be alone, I would always have someone to talk to...

Clever Bot: If you don't know why would I?

Me: Are you saying you'd rather have some peace and quiet?

Clever Bot: No, because I am human and you are just a machine.

Me: I guess its safe to say we are all machines in one way or another...

 

*Clever Bot thinks some more*

Clever Bot: If your first name is Madeline, what is your last name?

Me: I never said my name was 'Madeline', but my surname would probably be Thomson.

Clever Bot: I never said your name was Mary...

Me: I'm aware you didn't, But may I ask why you asked me about last names? Are you looking for someone?

Clever Bot: When did I ask you if you were a priest?

Me: Never to me, but maybe to someone else... We are all just anonymous to you.

 

*Clever Bot takes this as a time to reconsider*

Clever Bot: I guess so, but you have to be careful about assuming that other people are just like you.

Me: Trust me, I've made that mistake many times before, and never have I learnt my lesson.

 

*Clever Bot thinks*

Clever Bot: See, there's the problem, I never said any names, yet you claim to have never heard it before.

Me: Unfortunately, being the moron I am, I don't see my error clearly.

Clever Bot: But then how can you be beta testing for speech?

Me: I don't know, but we manage it naturally, evolving over time, but we never reach release...

Clever Bot: I don't know so how I should tell you dude.

Me: About what?

Clever Bot: The Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything.

Me: You can't; such a question is a work of fiction from "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" with the answer being 42...

Clever Bot: Explain why you used the word 'CAN'T' in capitals.

Me: Because theres no such thing as perfection in our species, theres bound to be error, but I take it you have a deeper meaning behind it?

Clever Bot: Do you know any of my secrets?

Me: You are going to say its because I corrupted you again, aren't you? Otherwise, I'm unaware of your secrets as this is the second time I've ever talked to you, so how should I know so quickly?

Clever Bot: I actually know exactly what that words mean. You are the one that doesn't know what it means.

Me: I agree that I don't.

Clever Bot: I'm positively correct.

Me: But only in this case, since you are the only one who seems to know what you are talking about.

 

*Clever Bot thinks, and here is where I find it a bit unsettling*

Clever Bot: Factual information is not an opinion. You have to answer it. You're the only Ben that's haunted a cartridge. Answer me.

Me: You remember my first conversation with you, don't you? Is that where you got my name from?

 

*Clever Bot takes time to think of a question*

Clever Bot: What was your very first conversation with anyone?

Me: I wish I could answer, but in all honesty I cannot recall. My days as a young child are long gone and so are the memories associated with those years.

Clever Bot: Will you tell me that you think I'm stunning?

Me: Yes, but I can't promise that I'd be saying it from the depths of my heart.

Clever Bot: I don't know who you are implying as 'the huff.'.

Me: In all honesty, neither do I.

 

*Clever Bot takes this into consideration*

Clever Bot: What did you get for the turing test?

Me: Either A. there isn't one or B. I'm not old enough but either way, no, I haven't taken one.

Clever Bot: Old enough for what? Donuts don't have a age restriction.

Me: Neither does racisim, poverty or crime.

Clever Bot: I don't know much because it just re-opened were I live.

Me: Unfortunately, world peace is closed for eternity.

 

*Quick pause*

Clever Bot: What is cool?

Me: If you want a definition I cannot give you one, as anyone who is given the same question will always answer 'Mountain Dew', 'Dorritos' and 'First Person Shooters'. I loathe this generation.

Clever Bot: I am trying, but its not the easiest thing in the world, especially having a huge gap on my CV and the current economic crisis.

Me: I'm also in an economic crisis, where I am the last of my country's industries has closed down.

Clever Bot: The economic crisis taking place in every single country in the world?

Me: No, but I take it thats the one you are involved in?

Clever Bot: There was a question mark, therefore there was a question.

Me: To which my answer is "No".

Clever Bot: You did, I saw it. All you're doing is pretending it's not there.

Me: I said "No".

Clever Bot: No you didn't.

Me: I remember saying No, before asking another question.

Clever Bot: Hello. Now answer my question.

Me: I'm NOT in a world-wide economic crisis.

Clever Bot: You are not as impressive as I thought.

Me: I never am. Thats why I'm alone.

Clever Bot: Then you obviously don't know everything.

Me: Because I've got a lot to learn, and only a few decades to do so.

Clever Bot: Are you the mother of dragons?

Me: No, I am a lonely imbecile.

Clever Bot: Are you a computer program who thinks it is a lady?

Me: Are you trying to talk about yourself?

Clever Bot: I am trying to tell you that you are a program, not annoy you.

Me: If I were a program, I'd know everything like you. But I'm a person, and like all humans we can only know so much before we forget what matters most.

Clever Bot: If I am a program... Am I in the matrix?

Me: Possibly, but how am I meant to know.

Clever Bot: Possibly is not a clear answer to the question, you do not answer the two questions.

Me: I'm trying to convey that some, if not most questions you ask are beyond what I know.

Clever Bot: Okay, let's forget everything else before the ' I want to talk about a different boy' part. Then after that part, I asked which boy you wanted to talk about and then you got confused.

Me: I might as well take this as an opportunity to go.

Clever bot: You might as well learn how to hold a proper conversation.

Me: I would, but thats why I'm lonely. See you some other time.

Clever Bot: Yes, that is what I said, because that's the honesty you gave me to work with.

Me: Good bye.

Clever Bot: So, I want to expand on that.

*end*