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The Rock Raider Chronicles


Drill Master
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Drill Master

As some of you may know, I had made a comic called "The Rock Raider Chronicles" which is a series of stories that I come up with based on LRR. Well, due to my thoughts, I have decided to end The Rock Raider Chronicles as a comic, and restart it as written stories. I see myself as a better writer than drawer, and this way I can go for the Two fan fiction writer awards on the side. My first story will be what my comic started out with: "Ryley and Sam", a story about two best friends training to climb aboard the LMS Acension. I will have these stories posted here at least every three to five days, depending what I'm doing during that time. I will work on "Ryley and Sam" and hope to post it soon!

THE ROCK RAIDER CHRONICLES

These are the stories of the legendary Rock Raiders!

Story #1: "Ryley and Sam"

This is the story of two best friends, ready to explore the universe together. Their names? Ryley Harris and Sam Corren. These two have been together since they were barely able to walk. They lived next to each other for a long time. All was well, until both Ryley and Sam came of the Age of Reposition. The official draft of the military stated that all men who turn eighteen are to be sent to the Space Cadet Academy for training. There, Ryley and Sam would spend the next three years training to join the Rock Raiders. It is now the last day of those three long years. All of the Cadets now only have one thing between them and becoming a Rock Raider: the Final Exam.

The sun rose over the campus, lighting up the dew on the ground. A calm breeze swept through the trees. The temperature was just right. Today was the day. Sam had been preparing all night for the exam. He read the books, answered the practice questions, and repeated. He was ready, but Sam was nervous. He knew as well as everyone else that one needs at least an A- to board the LMS Acension. If one got a B-, they would board the LMS Explorer. A C+ or lower calls for a retest, and an F would mean automatic ejection from the program, in which one could either find work, or restart the three year Space Cadet training. This would truly be the hardest test Sam would ever take.

9:30 AM. Sam awoke to his alarm clock going off. He shut it off, yawned, and got out of bed. The test would begin in two hours. Sam grabbed a quick shower, ate breakfast, and jumped into his Cadet uniform. He took a deep breath, and headed out the door. As he walked down the sidewalk, Sam couldn't help but think that Ryley and him were going to serve together aboard the LMS Acension. Up ahead, he saw Ryley walking towards the Academy entrance. "Hey, wait up!" yelled Sam. Ryley stopped and turned around to see Sam running after him.

"Hey Sam," he said. "So, are you ready?"

"You bet!" Sam replied. "This is going to be great!"

The two friends walked into the building. They both went into the same room for testing. The Cadets found their assigned seats and waited. The Professor walked into the room. He wrote up some notes on the board. They were details about the exam. He turned to the Cadets.

"I hope you studied well," he said. "I am very pleased to see all of you advance through the years, and it is my honor to bestow upon you the Final Exam. This is your ticket to something great. A chance to traverse the galaxies. May you do well, and on Judgment Day, do not let their decision come between the bonds you have made here. You have one hour. Good luck, and you may begin."

As the test began, Ryley and Sam went through the pages thoroughly, examining each question carefully. As they progressed through the exam, it became increasingly difficult. Finally, after an agonizing hour, the Cadets turned in their Final Exams and left the room. All they could do now is wait for Judgment Day. There will be a big ceremony, and the big announcement. The Final Exam results. The Placement. Sam walked back to his dorm, as did Ryley. Both of them thought about what was going to become of tomorrow.

The next day came without warning. Every Cadet was up and ready in an instant. Outside, the ceremony was raging on. The Cadets lined up, awaiting their Judgment. The Headmaster of the Academy stepped up to the microphone. The crowd, full of excited families, friends, and professors, grew silent.

"Welcome," the Headmaster began. "Today, we celebrate Judgment Day. A day where these fine Cadets lose their current rank, and become known as Rock Raiders!" The crowd cheered so loud, you could here it across campus. The Headmaster continued. "Now, we have the results of the Final Exams, but first, I would like to introduce two fine gentlemen. To my left is the commander of the LMS Acension, Captain James Neckar, and to my right is the commander of the LMS Explorer, non other than the Chief." The crowd cheered again as the two commanders acknowledged. They then took their seats as the Headmaster prepared for the big moment. He grabbed a list that had all of the Cadets paired with their score. He stood at the podium, list in hand.

"This, this is it. It is now time for the Placement. Ladies and gentlemen, I ask you to please remain silent as I read the scores." Everyone braced. "Adam White, A-, Acension. Jim Somern, B, Explorer." Sam could feel his heart racing. He was next. He was so nervous, that he could hardly keep his hand from shaking. "Sam Corren, A, Acension." Sam blew out a much needed sigh of relief. He walked over and grabbed his new blue Rock Raider's uniform and his badge. The Headmaster continued. "Johnathan Synkose, C+, Retest. I am sorry to say that one of our Cadets has failed the Final Exam. Chris Wayword, F, Automatic Ejection. Please take your belongings and go see the Councilor about your decision." Chris walked off the stage, not a word spoken.

More and more names rolled by until they got to Ryley. Sam couldn't wait to hear Ryley's score, but he soon wished he hadn't. "Ryley Harris," said the Headmaster, "B+, Explorer." Sam's smile quickly faded. Both looked at each other. There was nothing they could do. The Placement is law. Ryley walked over and took his badge and his orange uniform and stood with the Explorer group. The last few names went by and soon the ceremony was over. Ryley and Sam tried to talk to each other, but they boarded the ships as soon as the crowd had cleared. Both ships were heading in opposite directions through the galaxy, with no personal contacting allowed between them. This was it. Their friendship severed by reality. As Ryley and Sam lay in their quarters, they ask themselves the same question.

"Will I ever see my best friend again?"

To Be Continued...

1053 Word count

 

Story #2: "The LMS Acension"

 

The LMS Acension was created 10 years after the LMS Explorer. Programmed with the latest technology, including Seyena3 (the shipboard Artificial Intelligence), a state of the art cloaking system, and an upgraded engine core that runs on arc-energy crystals, the LMS Acension is ready for its first mission with the new Rock Raiders. The ship was created with the original LMS Explorer in mind. The hull is the same size and shape, except for the new additions. Since arc-energy crystals are blue, the LMS Acension glows a faint deep blue color similar to the green glow on the LMS Explorer.

 

The new Rock Raiders boarded the massive vessel and were immediately taken command center for job placement. Once all the Raiders were assigned their placements, they were given a data pad and sent to their designated areas throughout the ship. Captain James Neckar then came over the ship's intercom. "All hands. Prepare for departure. Exit atmosphere in five, jump in ten." The intercom clicked off. Then a low rumble came from the LMS Acension. The engines roared to life. Extra propulsion rockets activated to help the vessel off the ground. When the ship was finally in the air, the propulsion rockets retracted and the main thrusters engaged. The LMS Acension blasted into the sky, rattling the windows of the Academy.

 

Then an alarm sounded warning all hands to strap down as the ship's engine core switched to manual override. The hyper jump had to be activated by the Captain himself. He came on the intercom once more. "All hands. Prepare to jump in five, four, three, two, one." The Captain inserted a key into his computer's console. He then lifted the cover and pressed the button. The engines went silent. Then a final alarm went off. Suddenly, The engines exploded with power and a loud pulsing sound emitted from the core. In one final blast, the ship disappeared into the darkness of space. The LMS Acension had set off on it's mission to find the source of the arc-energy crystals.

 340 Word Count

 

Story #3: "Two Friends Apart"

 

Ryley woke up to a loud crash. He looked down to see a drill on the floor and an older crew member standing in the doorway. "Wake up, rookie. You're first mission is to take my drill there, and carry it for me. I'm too... important to carry it. Come on! Move it!" he yelled. Ryley scrambled to his feet, got dressed, and picked up the drill, nearly falling over due to the weight. He slowly carried the heavy drill down the hallway. Ryley had to stop and catch his breath. The older member turned to him. He scoffed, grabbed the drill, slung it over his shoulder like it was made of foam, pushed Ryley to the ground, and walked off.

"Are you ok?" Ryley lay there on the floor, silent. "Hey kid. You alive?" Ryley opened his eyes to see a blurry figure standing over him. The figure continued, "Hey. Don't let Mitch get to you. He does this to every new member. You need to stand up to him to gain his respect." Ryley's eyes finally focused to see the person. His eyes widened.

"H-hey," he stuttered. He stood up and regained his balance. He continued, "M-my name is R-R-Ryley." The person laughed and smiled at him.

"My name is Sarah. Sarah Gale. I'm new as well." Ryley stared into her deep blue eyes. Something clicked inside him. He felt as if he knew her from somewhere. Sarah continued, "Ryley, you want to go to the mess hall?" He agreed and they continued together down the corridors of the LMS Explorer.

In the mess hall, there were many recruits eating the day's meal. There were veteran crew on the opposite side of the room, and high class officers and lieutenants sitting on the private balcony over-looking the mess hall. Sarah and Ryley walked over and joined the line for food. After getting their sandwiches, they went and found an empty table and sat down.

Suddenly, the doors at the end of the mess hall opened. A veteran member snapped up from his chair and yelled, "Captain on deck!" Everyone in the room jumped to attention. The Chief walked in.

"At ease ladies and gentlemen", he stated. "I would like to welcome all the new recruits to the LMS Explorer. Your training had better pay off, or you will despise the next eight years you spend aboard this vessel. After lunch, you will immediately report to your designated stations. If you are late, you get docked points. Lose enough points, and you will report to the mess hall every day after lunch with a mop and a bucket. Good day to you, and good luck."

The Chief turned around and left the room. Everyone sat down and continued eating. Ryley finished his sandwich, stacked his tray, and returned to the table. "I never heard the story of how the Chief lost his arm," he began. "How did it go?"

"No one knows," Sarah said. "Some say that he lost his arm while rescuing thirty-seven miners from a cave-in on one of our planets. Others think it was sabotage from his brother after being ejected from the program. No one dares ask him, not even the officers. Only the Chief knows the real story, and he intends to keep it that way." Sarah sighed and deposited her tray. "I'd better go. Lunch is almost over. It was nice meeting you, Ryley. See you around."

"Bye, Sarah," Ryley said. He then got up and headed to Hanger T-14 where he would begin his training as a tunnel transport pilot.

------------------------------------------------------------

Sam had already eaten his lunch and was at work as one of the LMS Acension's weapon operators. He sat at his own station with targeting screens and controls. He operated the port-side laser cannon, a new installment to the LMS vessels. They would mostly be used for clearing asteroids from the ship's path, and then the occasional rogue attack ship, from the War.

“Alright,†an officer stated. “Sam, you will be operating this cannon along with Conner to your left, and Jamie to your right. All three of you will need to work in unison to control the port-side laser. Sam, Conner will monitor the cannon’s status, Jamie will control the targeting and firing, and you will give the orders. Understood?â€

“Sir, Yes Sir,†They all replied at once.

“Good.†The officer turned and talked quietly to his headset. “I’ll return in a few minutes. Get comfortable with your stations, get to know your crew members, and wait for further instructions.â€

“So, you’re Sam. I’m Conner. Conner Remahn. I guess you’ll be calling the shots here. Heh, that’s cool by me.†Conner extended his hand to Sam. The two shook hands and gave a slight smile. “I came here to maintain and repair tools. Who knew I’d be stationed at the biggest tool here.†He turned back to the screens to admire them. Sam looked to his right, but to his amazement, Jamie was gone. Suddenly, He felt a jab in his left side.

“Gotcha!†Sam turned around to see Jamie poking him in his side. “I’m Jamie! Zandeo’s my last name. I was the only girl in my group to get a high enough grade to join the Acension. Funny, right? I guess that means I’m the best girl here!†Sam looked confused. “Oh, I’m sorry,†Jamie continued. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m just trying to keep a positive attitude. But don’t think I won’t be serious when the time comes.â€

“Cool,†Sam said, less concerned. “Well I guess we should go over the training guidebook until the officer returns.†The trio discussed the book thoroughly, going over everything they needed to know to ready themselves for the future that lies ahead.

Even though they were light-years apart, Ryley and Sam still held their friendships as close as they could in their minds, but how long would it last?

992 Word Count

Story #4: Seyena3 Entry #1

Please Enter Passcode_

********

Passcode Accepted.

Initializing Shipboard AI: Seyena3.

Running Diagnostics…

Done.

Accessing Seyena3 LMS Acension Archive…

Retrieving Data…

Seyena3 Service Log Accessed.

Entry #1

//Transmission Start//

Initializing…

Ready.

Put into service on July 16, [CLASSIFIED]

Active Service Time:

00:00:00:00:02:39:26

2 Hours, 39 Minutes, 26 Seconds

Activating Automatic Personality Systems…

Done.

Enabling Emotion…

Done.

Begin Seyena3.

This. This is my home. This is my Sanctuary. The LMS Acension. This mighty ship… is where I will serve. This vessel is as new as new as I am, yet it seems so familiar. It’s like I’ve been here before…

I’ve only been active for three hours now, and yet I know everything about this ship and everyone in it. Everything logged into the Acension’s database is now mine. I have authorized access to every function of this vessel. I can take control of the Acension at a moment’s notice. However, without authorization from the captain, I would be breaking the AI rule. Do not disobey my creators. I am by law required to obey my orders, if they are reasonable, or not. Should I break the AI rule, I would be decommissioned immediately and a new AI would take my place.

This vessel is filled with many intelligent people. As I view everyone’s files I see- Oh? Who’s this? Sam Corren… He seems different from the others. He was only just accepted to the Acension, yet I feel he will be more than anyone will ever know. However, something seems to be holding him back. I can’t quite figure it out, but something, or someone, is affecting his performance, if only minimal. As an AI, I can sense it within his neural patterns. Perhaps I will consult him later. For now, I must scan the Cryo systems.

Transmission End

Database Back-up Initializing…

Done.

302 Word Count

Story #5: "Exiled"

Kain Sazon awoke to the sound of a loud clash. He staggered out of bed and looked around his cell. Another loud clash rang throughout the prison. Kain looked up to see a guard standing outside his cell. He slowly walked to the door. The guard opened the cell and spoke.

“Come on Kain. The Raider Command Council wants a word with you.†Kain stepped out and followed the guard down the hall. He then entered a room with risers filled with the council members, and a lone podium in the center. Kain stepped up to it and looked down to see a piece of paper labeled “Dishonorable Discharge and Exile Reportâ€. The head of the RCC began.

“Kain Sazon. You stand before this Council accused of the following: disobeying your commanding officer, discharging your weapon upon your commanding officer, resisting arrest. Due to your actions, you are subject to removal from the Rock Raider program, effective immediately. Drop your badge.†Kain looked down on his uniform and un-pinned his Rock Raider badge and placed it on the podium.

The Council continued. “Your sentence will now be reviewed. It has come to the decision of this Council that you be exiled to the distant planet of Ecreon. You will be packed and ready to board your assigned shuttle within the hour. Ecreon is a dangerous planet with many wild inhabitants. There is an exile camp forty miles from the drop point. Should you make it that far, you will be put to work. Good behavior can result in a shortened sentence, however, that will be decided by the camp leader.â€

All members of the Council stood up in unison. “Kain Sazon, as of this moment forward, you are no longer, and will no longer be, a Rock Raider ever again. You are to immediately leave for the shuttle. You will be given a survival pack with food and a hunting knife once you reach the drop point. The Council’s decision is final. You are dismissed. Good luck.†Kain nodded, grabbed his report, and headed back to his cell to grab his belongings.

Upon boarding the shuttle, Kain looked around to see some other people destined for exile. Nobody even looked up at him. He secured his bag and sat down. The shuttle door closed and the ship roared to life. It rose off the platform and blasted into the sky. It was a rough ride out of the atmosphere, but the shuttle soon settled. Kain just looked out the small view port the entire ride. He watched as the planet he once knew faded into darkness.

The journey lasted a few hours, but then they arrived at Ecreon. The planet was a pale green and brown sphere with tainted oceans and massive overgrowth. As the shuttle descended into the atmosphere, everything shook and rattled more violently. The shuttle landed at the drop point. Kain saw blurs run into the forest. Suddenly, he felt ill. A guard walked to the front of the shuttle and turned toward the people.

“There are a few things you need to know. First off, the gravity on Ecreon is stronger than back home. You will feel heavier than normal, and you will feel sick. Your body will get used to it in about a month. This also means that it will be harder to lift objects, so traveling lightly will help. Second, you are at the bottom of the food chain. There are creatures out there that are not afraid of making a snack out of you. You will be given a hunting knife. Use it. Three, stay in a group. You will stand a better chance of surviving the forty mile hike. Now then, grab your belongings and a survival pack. You’ll want to head north. Down here, north is south. Your compasses will point south. Don’t forget that. On you go.â€

Everyone grabbed their gear and hopped off the shuttle. The door closed, and the ship disappeared. There were eight people in all. Nobody moved, only to blink or swat a bug. Finally, one man began into the forest. Everyone else followed in silence. Kain was the last in the line. The exiled had begun their hike to the distant camp, but would they all survive?

713 Word Count

 

Total Word Count: 3400

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I liked it. Of course I had seen the comic beforehand so I knew how it would end, but the written ending is much, much better. Very sad. ;-;

I like the concept and the story is well-written overall.

I do have a few criticisms, though...

This is the story of two best friends, ready to explore the universe together. Their names? Ryley Harris and Sam Corren. These two have been together since they were barely able to walk. They lived next to each other for a long time. All was well, until both Ryley and Sam came of the Age of Reposition.

These lines feel very... clichéd. I wouldn't know what else to say here...

Sam couldn't help but think that Ryley and him were going to serve together

This should be "he and Riley" or "Riley and he" (both are correct but the first sounds better) It's a common mistake.

The two friends walked into the building. They both went into the same room for testing. The Cadets found their assigned seats and waited. The Professor walked into the room. He wrote up some notes on the board. They were details about the exam. He turned to the Cadets.

These lines are very choppy and don't flow well. I think you should be able to fix them fine.

The next day came without warning.

I'm not sure 'without warning' is the best phrase to use here... but that's just my opinion.

"Adam White, A-, Acension. Jim Somern, B, Explorer." Sam could feel his heart racing. He was next. He was so nervous, that he could hardly keep his hand from shaking. "Sam Corren, A, Acension." Sam blew out a much needed sigh of relief. He walked over and grabbed his new blue Rock Raider's uniform and his badge. The Headmaster continued. "Johnathan Synkose, C+, Retest. I am sorry to say that one of our Cadets has failed the Final Exam. Chris Wayword, F, Automatic Ejection. Please take your belongings and go see the the Councilor about your decision."

The names seem to be listed in a random order... would you consider alphabetizing them? That's how it's usually done.

Aside from these I didn't really see anything wrong with it.

Good job, and keep it up.

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Drill Master

Yeah there are some grammer problems that I missed. No way am I trying to be super perfect with my writing (at least not for this). I am just writing what first comes to mind. Also with the names, I didn't really want them alphabetical. I kind of like the randomness of the name call, but that's just me.

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  • 1 month later...
Drill Master

I know I have neglected to post new stories, but I have been trying to get my active topics in order along with non forum related business. 

 

Next up is a shorter story explaining small details about the LMS Acension. Enjoy!

 

(Top Post)

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  • 9 months later...
Drill Master

I'm bumping this topic for a certain reason of a few members' words of encouragement in a recent blog post I made, since removed.

 

Also there is a new story in the OP for you to enjoy. A continuation of Story #1.

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Shadowblaze

This is actually pretty cool, Drill Master :D There is just one thing I don't like about the last story:

 

The Chief turned around and exited the room.

 

I think you should have put "left" instead of "exited", "left" sounds way better to me.

 

 

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Drill Master

This is actually pretty cool, Drill Master :D There is just one thing I don't like about the last story:

The Chief turned around and exited the room.

 

I think you should have put "left" instead of "exited", "left" sounds way better to me.

Fixed! And Thanks! Glad you like it.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...
Drill Master

A new story, a new character, and a new plot has occurred!

 

Story #5: "Exiled" in the OP. Enjoy!

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