Let me tell you how it will be;

There's one for you, nineteen for me.

'Cause I’m the patchman,

Yeah, I’m the patchman.

Should five crystals appear too small,

Be thankful I don't take them all.

'Cause I’m the patchman,

Yeah, I’m the patchman.

(if you drive a car, car) - I’ll patch the street;

(if you try to sit, sit;) - I’ll patch your seat;

(if you get too cold, cold;) - I’ll patch the heat;

(if you take a walk, walk;) - I'll patch your feet.

Patchman!

'Cause I’m the patchman,

Yeah, I’m the patchman.

Don't ask the forum what I'm for, (ah-ah, mister Wilson)

If you don't know don't mod no more. (ah-ah, mister Heath)

'Cause I’m the patchman,

Yeah, I’m the patchman.

Now my advice for those who die, (patchman)

Increase the health of all your guys. (patchman)

'Cause I’m the patchman,

Yeah, I’m the patchman.

And you're working for no one but me.

Patchman!