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A Woodpecker's Blog

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Neophobia

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Aparkee

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What did you think of my post?   7 members have voted

  1. 1. What did you think of my post?

    • It was good
    • It was okay
    • it was bad
      0
  2. 2. Am I a hipster?

    • Yes
      0
    • No (better choice for me)

Please sign in or register to vote in this poll.

This entry is what I’ve been putting off for quite a while; I was inspired to write back in mid-July, but I soon realized that I wasn’t getting anywhere, so I gave it a rest, then came back to it a month later. The break certainly helped me clear my head and function again. If I hadn’t procrastinated, this might’ve been the first post. Anyhow, I’ll get into this one pretty quick, since I’ve already introduced my new blog…

 

But let me first just apologize in advance in case I don’t make sense. I’m not used to writing down my own thoughts, let alone explaining them to others. All I really want to do is bring out what I’m thinking and share it here. If this entry doesn’t pan out, I’ll work on doing better with my blog in the future.

 

Okay, that’s all; moving on now…

 

So, I’ve been kind of down lately. I’m starting to feel like I don’t know who I am, or rather, who I might actually be. I recognize my own hobbies/interests/tastes, and I’ve always been happy with them for the most part. What’s currently bugging me are some of the things I’m unfamiliar with. Since I haven’t tried much of anything new, I don’t know what else I might like or dislike. The obvious solution to this problem would be to actually try stuff. However, I have this problem - apparently I’m neophobic:

 MU9HiuY.png

Sorry. I hate to use that as an excuse, but it’s a problem that’s gotten my attention. I’ve basically been like that my whole life; part of it is probably an Asperger’s thing (surprise, surprise, I’m an aspie). When I was really young (e.g. before I aged 10-11), I would avoid trying new things at all costs. I was just a crazy kid obsessed with “LEGOS” 24/7 (I’m sure many of us were something like that at one point :P). Sure, there were a few other things I liked, but they were all very small things.

 

Fortunately, I got better at leaving my comfort zone as I matured; there’s a lot more I like to do now, and every so often I’ll look into something I haven’t tried before. Still, there are certain things I’m not comfortable with trying; I don’t know why. It seems like I’m over-reacting a lot, like I’ll automatically think I won’t get to do the things I already enjoy ever again if I start doing something that’s totally new. Another thing is, and I really hate to say it, but I think I’m sounding like a hipster:

ECjSTia.png

Goddamnit, I’d hate to be one of them, but maybe it’s the sad truth? I tend to despise a lot of things that “seem popular” to me, particularly on the internet or in pop culture. I’ve belittled certain trends and fandoms, and now I feel ashamed, since I’ve often done it without any knowledge of them. Also, I feel lonely because I don’t understand what everyone else seems to like. As a result, I’m finding it harder to make new friends. Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m missing out on what they do, or if I’m just different. It doesn’t matter to me what my opinion would be; I just need to validly form one. If I enjoy something, great! If not, then at least I tried it!

 

What actually HAVE I tried in recent years? Well, I played Minecraft in 2012, and I was bored to tears with it. I’ve also looked into a few fandoms, like the Bronies and Homestucks. I was amused by MLP, but it wasn’t exactly my cup of tea. Meanwhile, I was a Homestuck fan from 2011 to early 2015. I was crazy about the webcomic until I got really sick the fandom and started hating it. Right now, I’m a closet furry, if admiring the community’s art even makes me a part of the fandom. These are just a few prime examples; I’m probably forgetting some other things I’ve already checked out...

 

That’s pretty much all I can say right now. During my break, I even wondered if this entry would be a complete waste. Maybe it is junk, but I didn’t give up on writing it. I really want to work harder on fighting this “problem”. I just need to relax and feel free to take a look at anything I might be curious about. Even if my interests don’t change much, I’d at least get to experience some new things and maybe learn more about myself.

 

Anyhow, that was something unusually long for me to write online. Hopefully I didn’t sound like a complete drama queen. I don't expect that many here could relate with me, but who knows?


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7 Comments


You're a great friend. it feels like you always know what to say. Don't put yourself down like that. No matter what, saying bad things about yourself makes problems worse. Whenever I feel down, I always feel allot better taking to you. Also, nice dank meme.

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Hey, Aaron. Thanks for taking the time to write this! I can't say I know you too well, but you seem like a neat, positive guy around the community. I have had (and still do have) experiences not unlike yours, and can sympathize.

 

I'll admit, Neophobia seems like a peculiar self-ascription to me. All humans experience aversion to the new, some more acutely than others. Use of this label in particular for yourself, at least clinically, just seems really bizarre. Similarly, I submit Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. It's not a disease. It isn't even inherently bad. Everyone's obsessive about something, and these labels can be so superficial and broad that they don't in themselves pose solutions to the problems you may be experiencing in life.

 

You don't seem like a hipster to me, either; especially when you ascribe yourself to be a Neophobe. Branching out is fine, good even. Perhaps have a friend, confident, help assess where to show expression and restraint. Just don't push yourself—socially or otherwise—to a point where you can't function.

 

Ambivalence toward media and fandoms is a completely natural thing. I can't speak for you, but I know that wrapping my entire extra-curricular/professional identity around a fandom—like most anything else—has potential to be very unhealthy. Be thoughtful, but don't get too wrapped up in it that it becomes impossible to be productive and enjoy life!

 

The central theme seems to be one of labels. Am I a Neophobe or a Hipster? How about a Homestuck person or a Furry? Labels allow us to set up an artificial, categorical framework to help us make sense of the world and ourselves. This is fine in and of itself, but still potentially harmful if not handled properly. To be sure, I often fall into a similar line of thinking, across the spectrum. Really, I'm uncomfortable being anything. I'm the philosophical equivalent of an amorphous blob. 

 

Well, that's a morbid ending. I think you're closer to normal than you realize. By normal, I mean a lot (and by a lot I mean a ton) of people are going through similar experiences and undergoing critical introspection.  From the narrow window into your life you've allowed us to peer through, though, I think you're on the right track.

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Aparkee

Posted

Well, so far people are reacting a lot better than I anticipated! Willphiln31 even liked it! We had a nice chat on steam; he was inspired by my writing, and he actually opened up to me on some of his own thoughts. That sure perked me up!

 

@natcO lol, after I say I need to not pick on myself, you remind me that I'm still doing it! :P I swear, I'll actually stop that at some point... maybe xD

 

@Brigs Thanks! I can't really say anything about a specific part of your comment ATM; I just like it as a whole. It's a beautifully written comment, and I really appreciate it!

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Well you're being pretty open about yourself, and that's a good thing! Maybe I should do the same thing sometime. I'm not really open to writing about myself because it's not a comfy subject and I tend to like to avoid thinking too much about myself and the like, because honestly, personal reflection and faults aren't the most charming thing in the world to hear and discuss about. I'm also worried that if I was to write a post like that it would most likely be at a time I'm not clearly thinking (like very late at night) because I tend be reckless and do stupid things like that when I'm tired, but when it's in the day I just don't feel bothered enough to write something like that and I'd rather be making content for this community anyway.

 

3 hours ago, AaronBurner05 said:

I was amused by MLP, but it wasn’t exactly my cup of tea.

How dare you reject MLP. I'm never speaking to you again!

Just kidding. =P

 

2 hours ago, Brigs said:

I can't speak for you, but I know that wrapping my entire extra-curricular/professional identity around a fandom—like most anything else—has potential to be very unhealthy. Be thoughtful, but don't get too wrapped up in it that it becomes impossible to be productive and enjoy life!

Whilst I do tend to stay clear of most fandoms (aside from enjoying the content produced in it), I'm almost thinking that I spend too much time here, it's like this community has become my second life or something. If I'm not posting here I'm for sure doing something relating to what the community revolves around, provided I'm not alternatively playing some game for a period of relief time. If I'm not at work, you can bet I'm working on some project or something for here (because I love you guys and this place too darn much). Right now it's pretty much Go to job/work -> Come home and work on content at home -> Sleep -> Back to work, cycle. There may be a few tweaks in there here and there with some nights having a bit of game time or not at all depending on the creation intensity, but that's my primary schedule. I don't go out to any social gatherings and the like either, which in turn does lead to a bit of social awkardism at times for me when I am out. I'm not socially impaired or anything, but I'm definitely not up to par as what I should be and am terrible at being a conversation holder (although I'd rather be on the move than have a chat anyhow so short conversations don't bother me). It probably doesn't help I'm working late day shifts so I miss out all the social events and activities anyway, but that aside even when I wasn't working at a miss out time the only social things I'd go to beforehand were things I got dragged into, so I dunno. I have some other issues I can discuss but I won't go further as I wasn't originally intending to write a lengthy "a problem(s) of mine post", let alone in a reply to you Brigs, lol. And right now I feel like I'm getting into a "I'm not clearly thinking (like very late at night) because I tend be reckless and do stupid things like that when I'm tired" state of mind right now so I may have said things that I'd don't even know what I'm saying anymore and have turned this into a pity party for Xiron or something, sorry if so.

 

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As Brigs said, we all have bits of not wanting to try to new things. Avoidance to change or different is human nature. What's also human nature, in addition to not trying new stuff, is wanting to try new stuff. There's always the urge that's something new, different, better that you do not understand but want to. Quite paradoxical, isn't it? You're literally just being a human being unlike me who is actually a triangle and do not share all the emotions you humans do (oh goodness I sound like Spock).

 

I personally have been a closed person, not really branching out due to lack of social outlets (my blog post #NoSocialLife explains this). However, over the last two years, and particularly the last few months, I feel like I have opened up a lot more. How? Because I did something new and different. I've volunteered at a summer camp, where I interact with hundreds of kids and nearly 100 other staff each week I was there. I, in a sense, forced myself to get out of my comfort zone and do something totally different. As I result, I found something I genuinely enjoy, and from it I was able to loosen up and just enjoy life, not always caring how new something might be.

 

Not knowing where you fit is also an issue I am currently facing. I am very much a background worker, doing all that is needed to make others look good. Yet through camp and other stuff, it's as if I am slowly becoming the one that others make look good. I often say I do my best work sitting among people talking to them, not standing in front and speaking. Yet more and more it feels like I am transitioning from sitting to speaking. It is a new thing for me, one I am not comfortable with right now. Yet I keep pushing and seeing if this is where I am to go. Part of opening up and finding your area is defying the paradox of change and diving head-first into the change.

 

Keep trying new stuff. Keep pushing yourself out of your comfortable zone. Keep working through the convoluted, twisted timeline called life. As you push forward, you'll gradually find your identity (oh, don't even get me started on finding your identity), where you fit, and what you are to do. Reflect on your past, learn from it. Note what worked and what failed. Use it to drive you further down the road and not stick you in a mud hole. It'll be different, scary, and nerve-wrecking. The unknown is always that way. In the end, you'll come out a better person.

 

EDIT

This song came on as I finishing typing my comment. IDK if it's really relevant, but linking anyway.

 

Spoiler

 

 

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aidenpons

Posted

*Aaron rants about how he's unsocial, in a morose way*

*Brigs rants about how he's unsocial, in a morose way*

*Xiron rants about he's unsocial, in a morose way*

*Le rants about how he's unsocial, with an absolute lack of tongue smilies*

 

 

And guess what Aiden's about to do! l405G.jpg

 

Three days was my final School Formal.... the last experience I'll have with my  friends  buddies acquaintances factions I'm at war with in M2 plebian scum ... class. I didn't go at all, much to the miffing of many others. (No doubt Le will harangue me for that l405G.jpg) It's because I am inherently unsocial - around most people. RRU is a... very.... interesting forum. It's not the place for a lot of people, which is why our active member count is so small (and our member numbers are in, what, over nine thousand?). (I'll rant on this later... SOON(tm))

You add your own unique piece to the pile of Lego bricks forming Geologist United Football Club RRU. As Brigs said, labels are a curious device. You don't need to label yourself as anything. Just keep on doing what.... you do.

 

Quote

I tend to despise a lot of things that “seem popular” to me, particularly on the internet or in pop culture

Can agree.

On the other hand, most other people (not on RRU) despise what I hold the equivalent of "popular" as applied to one person, like getting LRR to run on Win10 by sheer accident. And that's because we're different, and we have different tastes. I have different tastes to what pop culture has, which is why a mutual ignorance has developed, to the benefit of both parties l405G.jpg

 

 

What was the point of this? IDK, but I hope you've managed to glean something from this, even if it's just a smile on your dial that is so cliche and I hate it face. l405G.jpg

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17 hours ago, aidenpons said:

*Le rants about how he's unsocial, with an absolute lack of tongue smilies*

 

You totally missed the point of that comment. But hey, at least I was not morose about the topic. :P

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