I don't intend for this to come across as something in the vein of self-pity, as I know we all have our own hardships with which to deal, but rather I intend it simply as a venue through which to express some of my deepest feelings.

I don't necessarily know that anyone is necessarily any happier than I, as I know nothing of their lives in their entirety. But I do know that for a long time now I've felt significantly unhappy due to a multitude of things, one of which is something among the more paramount facets of my life and of myself, but which I don't feel comfortable elaborating on in-depth here. But it's something that poses a hindrance to my becoming more independent, and because of it I'm very much a recluse, and it's uncertain whether it's something I'll be able to surmount. Another thing is that, however much I aspire to be as understanding, compassionate, kind, and perceptive a person as I have the aptitude to be, I haven't always shown or employed such attributes with some people, and unfortunately to the detriment of my relations with them. And whilst some have been more forgiving, others outright hated me and showed no willingness to attempt to understand me. It's very disheartening though to see these people harbor such resentment towards me, because I care for them deeply, especially so because they're very emotionally damaged people, and it makes me feel almost as though I failed them as a friend, I failed to help them and to make them ultimately happier. It hurts me so because I don't want them to continue on in life in such emotionally tortured states of mind, I want nothing more than for them to be happy.

But we're all very flawed, imperfect, but yet beautiful unique individuals. And I suppose what we did in our pasts is nothing more or less than could be expected of us, because we only ever can think, behave, and deduce as far as the immediate expanse of our knowledge-base, as far as what we immediately know in the present moment. I only wish this understanding were shared with the aforementioned people. Moreover, I try to don a personality with which my subconscious conflicts because of my current circumstances, and so often to no avail.

But in light of all of this, even if I can't fully live a life of happiness, I try to make a concerted effort to live one of meaning through the resulting contributions of the development of my various archives, through providing emotional support to others wherever and whenever possible for me to do so, and generally trying to enrich the lives of others and their individual happiness. This is why I do the work that I do to research and archive every known retro LEGO comic, storybook, and animated cartoon as thoroughly as is possible, because I know that it's something important to at least some members of this community, and something that provides them happiness and enriches their lives. I do this because I care about you, and it would be a tremendous waste of my life to forever be self-absorbed in my own problems and be oblivious to the struggles of everyone else I share this beautiful world with.

In conclusion, I hope you never forget how much I care for all of you and for this awesome community as a whole, just as I hope I never forget how much you in turn care for me. I hereby extend my deepest and sincerest thanks to those of you who have shown me forgiveness, tolerance, and most of all friendship, however difficult I might be sometimes. And I extend my deepest and sincerest apologies to any of you I've unnecessarily hurt in any way.

With love,

~Sadie