Hey everyone, it's time for another full-o-feels blog entry. If you haven't guessed yet by the title, this is about my dog who we unfortunately had put down at around 10:00am on Monday, December 16, 2013. Her name is Dusty. She was about 13 years old.

On October 31, 2001, Halloween of all days, we got a call from our neighbor saying to come outside (this was after trick or treat hours) and see what she found. What we saw was this little black puppy running around in her yard. We were told that she had been abandoned by her previous owner, as she didn't have a collar on. We played around with her for a little while, then my dad said it was getting late and that my brother and I should head back inside the house.

I went to my room, and was sitting on my floor playing with my toys (I was around 6 at the time). A few minutes later, I heard the front door open, and not even 15 seconds after that, this little black furball rushed into my room and attacked my face... with love. And so began the start of something that changed our lives forever. I had a friend that I could talk to and play with, and that is exactly what she was. My best friend.

Continue on through life and you would see this dog jump around, get in trouble, beg for scraps, play with her toys, be a lovable part of the family. She started many traditions, including going outside with me as I went to get the mail, when we would get home from school, or dad came home from work, she would show us her bone, we would say "I see your bone!" and take it from her, then give it back, and her unstoppable craving for cheese, oh how she loved it.

We introduced her to camping, which she absolutely enjoyed. The way she'd perk up on Christmas morning when she saw the toys in her stocking, just like us. The constant sweeping the floors to keep up with her insane shedding. This dog was so spoiled, I can't even count the number of toys she's had, and almost every single one was de-stuffed and strung all over the floor at one time or another. And she had her bed next to the door in my parents bedroom. This bed was only rated for a puppy, and she quickly out grew it, but she never stopped using it. She would still curl up in a ball and sleep in it, even though her head rested on the floor. We even got her a bigger bed, and she refused to use it over her old one.

Life went on. We got older, she got older. She was still happy and perky, but you could just hint at the older age setting in. Then, a little over a year ago, she had a neural based seizure. Her eyes were moving rapidly back and forth causing nausia, and it was after the vet had closed, so we couldn't do anything. She was like that for a full 24 hours all through the night until we got her to the vet the next morning. We got her some medicine to help, and she eventually made a 90% recovery. However, the disease that caused it made her lose control of her balance. She was on medication to help with that for the rest of her life.

Then just here recently, she went downhill. She started losing weight, she had trouble standing up and walking. She had a growth developing in her abdomen, which due to her age, couldn't be removed.Then just this past night she was laying down, moaning in pain due to that mass. Morning came, and she wasn't even able to stand. We got her in the truck and she didn't move at all the entire trip to the vet. My dad carried her inside, normally she would struggle because she hates the vet, this time she didn't so much as flinch.

We got her in the room and laid her on her side up on the table. The doctor came in and said "Take all the time you need." During those last moments, Dusty used the last of her strength to sit up on the table to see all of us there with her. After that, we signaled the doctor that we were ready. The doctor came in and did her thing, and left us alone. And as she went, my nerves kicked in, and I had to lay down on the bench. I couldn't handle the initial moment. I then settled down and went back to the table to see her. There she lay, staring blankly at me. She was gone.

We stayed there for a little while longer, then as the rest of the family began to leave, I stood up, kissed Dusty on the head, and said goodbye. I thanked the doctor, and left the room.

Since it is winter, we can't bury her, so we're having her cremated until spring comes around and the ground thaws out. Then she will receive a proper burial.

This was really hard to type out. I needed a way to vent and this was the best way for me. Dusty was there through a lot of hard times in my life and was always there to comfort me when I needed it. Now that she's gone, it will be harder to cope with my daily struggles. At least now I know that she isn't hurting anymore, and that she's a puppy once more, having fun with her brothers Alex and Max.

Thank you to anyone who read this. I just needed to let it all out.

DM