Wot I Fink: Family
Entry posted by McJobless ·
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I never thought I'd have to do this kind of entry, but my feelings on the matter are quite high, and I think I have some explaining to do. I'm sorry in advance. Hopefully it will never come to this again.
I remember first joining RRU. It was just before dinner on a school night, all the way back in 2010. I had just gone through my emails (this was my second email account) on my brothers computer in his room (already showing who would be the richer one), and found a brand new RRU newsletter mysteriously sitting in the previously empty (again, second account; my first one had 2) RRU Newsletter category. For some reason, I had categorised RRU Newsletters without even being an active member on the site (yet).
At first, it was my scary. I had been to forums before, but this one felt...different. It looked like the admin had spent a lot of time and effort, going out of his way to purchase his own domain and forum software, instead of using the free forums of the time. It felt...professional. I, at the time, wasn't even sure if I would be committed to staying. I just made an introduction topic, as you do, and went off on my merry way to dinner, before then playing a few hours of PS1 and then passing out.
The next day I woke up, and I was astounded; the admin had personally responded to me, alongside some moderators and other members. I felt...brilliant. I never had such a warm welcome in my life. I posted a bit more, here and there, being careful to make sure I didn't annoy anybody or break anything I wasn't supposed to. I slowly gathered confidence and became more and more invested in the site. I started to download some of the tools, and screw around LegoRR, seeing if I could contribute something, anything, to the site, so I wouldn't just be dead-wood.
Eventually I ventured into the unknown abyss of the Shoutbox. I had done IRC before, but most chats were dead, and many of the people were pretty quiet, even when talking. But, something was different. These people were...alive. And entertaining. They all had unique personalities and stories. They didn't bite (not at first at least; Zephyria 
). I spent more time interacting with them, and starting to feel like I might actually be a part of this..."family".
We all know the story from there. Boy finds some dead code nobody knew how to work with, boy plays around with it, boy accidentally is able to get multiple minifigure types into the game, boy because instant success. And after that, things went everywhere. I climbed my way through the post counts while witnessing (and being a major part of) many various conflicts on the site, learning to animate under the wing of Cirevam while everyone chortled "Does he love cub or coke?" This place grew on me, and it's pretty much been a better place than my own home.
I tell you this story because of that word; "family". That's what we, more or less, are. Cyrem's the single parent, the moderators are the older siblings, the new editors are the nosy kids who like to shower everyone with gossip, the donators are the spoiled goodie-two-shoes, the contributors are also spoiled goodie-two-shoes ( ) and then we have all the other younger siblings. That just how it is on this site.
As much as a family stands together, I've seen more of a family falling apart. And this one is no different. We all have our difference in opinions, in the way we do things, and the way we communicate. It shows most online, and especially here, where the anticipation between each post builds up moreso than on a instant messaging service. That's a problem inherit in forums, but it seems to be less of a problem here. Nonetheless, we still have parts of it showing up, and mostly within myself (See the side-rant in the spoiler below).
I am quite a jerk. There will be people who dispute this, but I believe I've seen enough to know what I am and what I'm not. You see, I am a jerk...with a heart of gold (didn't think you'd ever see TVTropes appear in one of these, did you?). Now, that's not me being very immodest. What I'm getting at is, I don't show my "good side" except to those who I feel have gained my respect. If you can't gain my respect, it means you're doing something very wrong in my opinion. How to qualify is not important, since most people will (I would have pointed out a specific member here, but that goes against what I'm writing) inevitable do something that gives them the opportunity to see a more "real" me (if what these real life people are saying is true).
It happens in cycles, and those cycles are regular, and it's happening right now. A certain member appears to shake up the website, and embarks on a journey where we are constantly disappointed by their actions and their words, to the point where some of us outright (and people, we all must admit it sometime, despite how we'd normally say "we just stumbled upon this topic by accident") follow their post rampage, hoping they'll eventually listen to us, as we try to defuse a ticking timebomb that could bring an end to forum order itself. Or so we think. Cyrem has a nice giant big "UNDO" button in his office.
Since that first night, when I nervously jumped online to and posted a hello, hoping I wouldn't be ripped in half, I've meet a lot of people on this site (not in real life, but that's not important). I've grown and changed, and I've formed opinions on people. We all know who I respect, who I feel can be a bit "excessive" at times, and who I want nothing more than to throw out the airlock. But recently, I've been challenging my own opinions and fighting with myself and my actions. That said, one person has constantly set my entire brain on fire and locked all the fire hydrants.
I won't name names. You know who it is. You know that person, on this site or not, has demonstrated a lack of respect, blatant ignorance, and contempt for authority. I'm not here to rip them apart to shreds. Instead, I'm here to...apologise.
Yes, I'm serious. Not to them, oh hell no. But instead to the staff and members of this site, and to anybody else who had been caught in the cross-fire. Sometimes I get out of hand. I go beserk and then attempt to justify my actions as being right, when I'm no better (and that's hard to say for some people) than the person I'm trying to call out. It's of great disrespect to myself, and to the forums when new members come and see what I've posted. I hold a position of, relatively, some power, and to act as I do...I should know better. We should know better. It's not right for me to hide behind this computer and call out people, only to reflect poorly myself on those who have worked harder than me to bring us all together in the first place. Respect must be given if it is to be earned, and in many ways, I have been undoing what respect I gave to the staff and members here that I worked up with great effort. One step forward and three steps back.
There's not much that can be done now on my end, apart from holding back in future, and letting the moderators and the admin deal with this whole mess as they see fit. But, nonetheless, if I'm committed to stopping this, I do need to throw something off my chest, else I'll never breathe again.
I have never met a person like the one I am talking about right now. Never ever. An attitude so fowl, I should have smelt it from his very first post in the RIP topic. His constant derogatory, "innocent-until-never-proven-guilty" persona fills me with so much hate and bile, I'm considering seeing a doctor. We tried to justify it as the person being "young", but even then, many younger members have, more or less, settled down after contact with a member of staff, and their annoying tendencies have been little more than a small itch that's easily scratched away. I will not be silent about this person in private, and I would happily, if not given the fact that this is supposed to be civilised communal gathering and that I am supposed to be a pillar of respect and patience, stand in front of ANY member, one I have little respect for or not, and defend them from this maniac. They do not represent what we do, what we say, or who we are. They do not understand what it means to be a part of this community. They are not family.
And that is Wot I Fink.
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