Holy crepe, one day has passed since le last entry *gasp*
Prepare for a giant moodswing from my last post.
Also, I do apologize if my posts become frequent. It's just something I do
You know, the kindness of strangers will never fail to amaze me. Even before I came here, where so many of you have comforted me, given me advice and the likes, I'd noticed that people I didn't even know were being so nice to me. Now perhaps some were just using me to get more friends, to throw pity parties or something like that (mostly on Facebook is where I've found this to happen) but others... Others genuinely care. It didn't happen as much on Facebook, but it still did. I met the most amazing people, and made friends literally left and right. Sadly most of them I no longer talk to, due to my inactivity of that site, but that's not really the point.
It was brought to my attention what my Christmas lacked, and why it felt so... miserable. Hope. A staple of the human set of emotions. Now we all have certain emotions that are used most often, others that are hardly used and some that we have never felt. Hope is what keeps us going. It's the optimists bread and butter. And that's what I had ignored.
I also had forgotten the giving spirit of the season. The one thing that makes this season so special. I had become so self absorbing in what was wrong, that I failed to see what was right. I had lost connection with someone who I have been talking to for months, someone who I seriously can't live without, and that made everything turn grey and awful. My grandfathers illness made it worse. Terrible grades and the end of term swinging in just finalized my depressing state and wiped any hope from my mind. I refused to give presents to those I didn't /have/ to give to. My friends got nothing from me, because I was so selfish. When I did, they were rushed and not well thought out, to be honest. I just didn't care.
Now I look back on last week, and I feel so guilty. But also, I found my new years resolution. Even if my life gets hard, and I feel like I can't go on, cling to hope. Give freely of myself to others, make them smile, and help them no matter what's going on. Be a friend, a family member, and someone they can rely on.
I wanted to take some time to thank you guys, even if I really don't know you, and vice versa. You took time out of your life to offer comfort to me, when you didn't have to. And thank you to that one person who has always been here for me, even when I was being downright awful. You know who you are.
So yes, have my random, out of the blue post. Hooray ^w^
But one thing I plead with you all to never forget, is this. Have hope, and don't you ever, ever give up.
Cheers, RRU, and have a Happy New Year.